should tips be given?

I am listening to litefm frequently now, and they always give out tips and advice on their channel. One of them was how to be nicer to waiter and waitresses. Here are some of the tips given out.

1. say thank you
2. talk to them( make jokes) 
3. talk about their job only when you have something nice to say.
4. Give tips what they really deserve. 

The first tips was actually sound and logical and I definitely agree with this. the second tips was quite reasonable.( but not really a funny person) Just as long you think about it as to not to offend anyone. The third one is the same as the second tips. Don't say it if it is offending to the hearer. But what I don't agree with the last one at all because I feel that services here in Malaysia suck big time and I need something to justify the tips that I will be giving.

waiters and waitresses here in Malaysia have this two big problem.

Most of the time they know nuts about the menu in their premises, and they sound and looks moody all the time. They expect to be only writing down orders and bringing in the orders to your table, and that is about it.
so how to give tips when all of this pertaining to giving better services to customer is ignored or not practice at all. I hate it when I ordered something only to be told later that my food is not available, reason  being certain ingredients are used up for that particular dish. I find this seriously annoying and this shows the waiter or the waitresses doesn't want to know what is happening at the kitchen. Secondly I find waiter and waitresses here in Malaysia are damn rude when it comes to speaking the customer.They usually sound uninterested and rather be some where else rather that taking your orders and doing their best service for you. 
So it comes back to the question. Should tips be given regardless of the quality of service or it should be gauge by how well you are being given the service.